Last year, when I received the bill demand for the following year’s TV License and I realised how very little of the BBC’s output I consumed, I made myself an officially registered non-TV License payer. The rules did allow for the very few times I watched a show on catch-up on the iPlayer. Live broadcasts were a no-no.

Today that law has changed. Now everyone has to pay. By law. I believe another word for this is ‘tax’. To pay for the BBC’s remit which is to “inform, educate and entertain” the nation.

As I had said many, many years ago when I worked at BBC Television Centre (in News), the future of the TV License and the BBC is in peril if they don’t move to some kind of subscription model once we ‘go digital’.  The look of horror and disgust on the faces of my peers and bosses was picture. It would look great on the after-hours ‘test card’.

In order to attempt to diarise and document the output of the BBC, I’ve decided to start to list the daily output of the two terrestrial BBC channels, possibly for a week, to illustrate that being forced to pay £145 for everything  (even though I don’t own a television or radio) seems unfair.

If you love constantly gushing pundits of sports, then you can pay for it. (Not a sports fan here.) If you love eccentric time-travellers saving the universe, you can pay for them. (I do.) If you happen love watching endless stories about miserable and violent East Londoners, then go ahead, fund them too. If you like to listen to tales of farming communities causing drama and shagging each other, fill your (welly) boots and line their hats.

But being forced to pay for all of it, when all I have is the iPlayer – *A PLATFORM THAT BY ITS VERY NATURE COULD PROVIDE A PAID FOR, CONTROLLED AND RESTRICTED CONTENT NETWORK, WHEN NEEDED* – is totally unfair. And illogical. Pay as you ‘watch/read/listen’ seems to be the fair way to go. Get more viewers, make more money. Churn out rubbish, don’t.

Appeal to the masses. I get that. Many people do love sport. Loads of people are gripped by the dramas of dysfunctional, violent families in the capital. And many simply can’t get enough celebrities who can dance AND bake. If they want it, they’ll subscribe to it. Simple. I’m not saying don’t make these shows if people do want them, but why should I pay for them to watch them?

So: today on BBC1 :

• People looking for forgotten relatives and their will.
• People buying and selling old stuff.
• News. (1)
• Hospital doctors soap.
• Police force soap.
• Property shopping.
• Quiz.
• Antique valuations and sales.
• Another pointless quiz. (That’s its name)
• News. (6)
• Saccharine chat/’report’ show.
• Never-ending tales of miserable and violent east Londoners.
• Clever animals.
• A show about overpaid football players.
• News. (10)
• Documentary on the NHS.
• An american movie.

See you tomorrow.

Update: WAIT.. there’s more.. for the hell of it, this is what’s on BBC2 today:

• News.
• Quiz show.
• Old family sitcom. (‘not available on iPlayer’)
• Another one. Hi-de-Hi. (seriously?)
• Ancient political satire. Yes, Minister.
• Snowdonia documentary.
• Interior design show.
• Antiques valuations and sales.
• Quiz show disguised as debate.
• Quiz show.
• Gardening.
• Restaurant shaming (and improving).
• Health and doctors.
• Ex-politicians and so-called celebrities go for a long walk.
• Sitcom. (new!)
• News(night).
• Classical music. Best orchestra search.
• Arts detectives.
• An ex-TV-chef(?) travels the country to meet people who have met the Queen.
• Funny man does serious job. (at 2am!)

The BBC does produce (at times) some great shows and content. And I’m happy to pay for the things I want to watch/listen/read. But with the consistently increasing amount of asinine shows they’re making (alongside an internet – and commercial channels – full of a vast choice of identikit alternatives) I’m finding it harder and harder to defend them (which I have done on many occasions) or pay for them (which I have also done on many occasions).

I was immensely proud to work there for four years. I miss it.

I think the solution is what should be a future version of the iPlayer. In which you’d have an account and you’d pay to stream the shows you wanted to watch.

I mean it’s not even rocket science any more to restrict a stream to those who have paid for it. People are increasingly getting used to just paying for what they want online. eg: Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime, HBO, etc. Yes, those are mostly US companies, but rest-assured that model is well on the way here. And if the BBC doesn’t stop looking back to the past, they’re going to be dead in the water. And it’ll be a very, very messy tragedy.